social distancing – Meandering Through Midlife

inspirational quotes on a planner — Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

Dear Reader,

Never did I think I would blog forty days in a row, nor did I ever speculate that I would have to stay home during a pandemic. I’ve been thinking that it’s time to return to some fiction. Not that I will neglect you, only that I will be blogging a bit less in the upcoming weeks.

Today our governor laid out six steps to reopening NJ, and it looks like we can’t even begin step one, which means much of the same through May. This is the seventh week of strict social distancing in NJ, and it’s challenging not to feel frustrated. And while I have read enough horror stories about Covid’s effects on the heart, lungs, and other body parts, I feel a bit green when I see life going back to normal in other parts of the country.

And then I read this article and I just wanted to cry.

This is what life is like during a pandemic: a combination of highs and lows. There are days when the skies are blue, the sun shines, and we play outside together as a family. We will light a fire in our chiminea and sip drinks in our wicker chairs as our cats play beneath our feet. You would never know that we are living during a pandemic. And then there are days where the three of us are sick of each other. On these days, which ironically happen to be rainy most of the time, we retreat to the furthest three corners of our ranch home. There we sit silently with our own thoughts, or play with our devices to shut the others out.

The other day I was shocked when our dear neighbor wandered into our backyard. She made a big deal about standing twenty feet away, but eventually settled into a chair ten feet from us. Then the three of us had an actually face to face conversation. It was great! I often wonder why this doesn’t happen more often, after all the rules say 10 people can gather with appropriate social distancing. But our friends and family members have retreated to their homes and many have pulled up their draw bridges vowing not to come out. There is so much fear that you can practically taste it if you do venture out.

Which makes me wonder, if NJ did begin to lessen restrictions, would people leave their homes? Would they go to a store and shop? Eat at a restaurant? Go to a movie?

I don’t know.

Today’s weather reflected my mood. Gray, then rain, a bit of sun, and back to gray again.

Let me know how you are dealing with the realities this pandemic has dropped on our doorsteps.

Be well!

Namaste

It’s 8:45 p.m. on a Monday night and outside it’s nearly silent. No cars. No planes. Nothing. It’s unnerving. Here in New Jersey we have a new “suggested” curfew that starts at 8:00 p.m. and ends at 5:00 a.m. Libraries, gyms, movie theaters, and some houses of worship are closed. So are schools.

It’s really odd to be home planning Distance Learning Lessons with my son plugged into his Chromebook next to me studying today’s assignment on Google Classroom. And in another room my husband is on a conference call.

I have to wonder if this is our new normal?

By 10:00 a.m. my sixth grade son has a melt down. He complains that our internet is too slow. I tell him it’s the website that has crashed, but it doesn’t matter. He continues to argue until he is close to tears. And I know that they aren’t about the website or internet connection; it’s about the palpable fear that permeates our lives.

Closer to lunch, my DH comes in to complain I am too loud. He says he can hear my fingers tapping on my laptop’s keys. Later he comes in to tell me that Idris Elba has the Corona Virus without displaying any symptoms and asks how that is possible? Then we begin to speculate what will happen next until my phone buzzes. My son is riding his bike down the street to his friend’s house. I am furiously typing “WAIT!” My heart drops as I know I need to tell him that his friend’s parents may not want him stopping by.

How did we get here? This time last week I was working at school, planning for quarterly exams, thinking about travel soccer and Easter plans. It might have been last Monday when things started to shift. I took an hour and a half trip around our town looking for hand sanitizer. On Wednesday, I went looking for rubbing alcohol and aloe. By Thursday I made a second trip to my local grocery store and found myself caught up in the frenzy of buying extra toilet paper.

On Friday, my class erupted as they noticed an announcement on our district’s website page. Then I got the email. We would be closing.

I go to bed each night and dream, only to wake up in the same nightmare. as we all are.

Times like these require a different approach.

I’ve been trying to be present, really present. The little moments of playing video games with my kid, or family ping pong on the kitchen island, or even watching the movie Dodge Ball mean more than they did a week ago. Social media means more now, as do the numerous texts from friends, family, and co-workers.

We’ve set up a daily schedule to keep us on track, especially our son. Sleep schedules are important too, as is time outside and working out. We eat our meals together, and play board games.

I am trying to limit the news coverage.

And I am attempting to be faithful.

The isolation is challenging, but there is something sweet about slowing down our chaotic pace of life. I am grateful that we can be home together.

God knows what will happen next, or when this will end.

All we have is hope, and each other.

Be kind and patient to one another.

Namaste