Tag: Covid 19

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Day 10: Dealing With Real Life Gunk While Living in The Surreal Covid 19 World

meanderingthroughmidlife

Day 10.

We are beginning to fray a bit at the edges, I think.  Friends have called to chat about hitting the proverbial wall, strange dreams, or excessive stress.

Today I was coerced into dealing with my car insurance company once my Doc said he wasn’t getting paid because of my deductible.  I spent hours calling my insurance company and the other driver’s insurance company.  And then I googled the what ifs, which are never good. NJ is a “no fault” state, meaning that even though it has been determined that I had no fault in being rear ended, I still may end up paying my deductible and 20% copay.  I felt my nerves unraveling during the last call.  My blood pressure rose, and my tone changed.  I gave up after that.

I know we are all in this Dystopian nightmare called Covid 19 together.

And I guess it will take a while to get everything resolved.

And I can’t control other people’s actions and/or thoughts.

I can only control my CALM: Creative at Alleviating Lousy Moods.

We have friends who are trying to sort out dire tangles in their life.  One is dealing with excessive work responsibilities. Another…the loss of a family member.  A third, has a child with cancer.

None of these situations have stopped because of Covid 19, social distancing, sheltering in place, or curfews.  We just need to figure them out in this new context and hold onto the thought that “this too shall pass”.

Namaste

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Day 9: How little things can elicit a monstrous emotional response for no good reason.

meanderingthroughmidlife
green leaf on gray wooden fence
Photo by Jaymantri on Pexels.com

I promised myself last night that today I would “settle in”.  The problem was I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  It started with starting my coffee maker and noticing that there were a few workers on the other side of the neighbors’ ancient, chain-linked fence.  One was cutting the green patterned wire and pulling on the posts, the posts where we have iris planted.
Then I saw the materials come.  And I got upset.  It was clear that our neighbors were putting up a gorgeous, white fence, a six-foot fence.

You see, I have a smaller house on a postage stamp.  And at least the green chain link fence made my brain think my yard is bigger than it actually is.

And then there is the message behind a fence.  “Keep Out!” “This is ours and not yours.” “Butt out.”

Needless to say, watching the fence go up aggravated every other aggravation.  I got mad about work.  Frustrated with my tween.  Nervous about Covid 19. I couldn’t think straight even after going for a walk.

And then, at the end of the day, our neighbors came out to speak with us. I pasted a smile on my face and took a deep breath.  Turns out that they just want a safe place for their toddler to run around.  They chuckled and said they should have gotten a door for us.  And then they said when the advent of Covid 19 was over, we should come on over.

Boy, I feel stupid.

As I said before, FEAR is a powerful motivator.  It colors our thoughts and our emotions.  And living in the time of COVID 19 can bring up fears for folks. And it can inflate emotions.

As I did the dishes after dinner, I took another look at the fence. It doesn’t look so bad to me now.

Off to meditate.

Namaste

 

 

 

 

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Day 7: Clean House

meanderingthroughmidlife

man in coveralls holding spray bottle

Dear Reader,

How are you?  Are you staying at home practicing social distancing? Maybe you’re “sheltering in place”. Perhaps you are one of the many American heroes helping others get through this.   I hope you are healthy and safe.

Six days ago I started blogging again, reflecting on my experience during this pandemic.  I wasn’t sure how many posts I would write, but after about day three, I felt the process cathartic.  So here I am again, a middle-aged wife/mom/friend stuck at home in unprecedented times.  My hope is you find yourself entertained, or maybe you’ll find something helpful.  If nothing else, then this will be a record of what life was like during the Covid 19 Pandemic in New Jersey during 2020.  So here we go…

Sunday mornings used to be for going to church.  Being older and having gone through family tragedy has kept me connected to church.  I didn’t go every Sunday when I was in my twenties and thirties, but now things are different. It’s funny how having our son made me feel compelled to join a church. While I would describe myself as more spiritual than religious, I have found myself quite involved with our church community.  I especially enjoy watching how “church” is evolving: becoming more inclusive, providing opportunities to serve others, and finding people who have given of themselves freely when we needed help.  The advent of Covid 19 (ironically during Lent) has been jarring to my Faith.

Since we can’t go to church, Sunday mornings have become just another day.  Today I gathered up my courage, turned off the news, and plugged in my earbuds so I could listen to Monsters Among Us, my favorite podcast that I would normally listen to on my drive to work. Still in PJs and bathrobe, I grabbed the cleaning supplies, tuned out my family, and got to work.

About an hour and a half later, I conked out.  But the effort felt good.  Using my newfound wipes to clean doorknobs, remotes, and light switches made me smile. I enjoyed pushing against my hardwood floor with the Bona mop.  Scrubbing out the sink wasn’t even too bad.  Better yet, I felt as if I had accomplished something.  Best of all, I wasn’t stuck to my phone, checking out the latest news headlines.  Instead, I ended my cleaning spree by listening to Your Highest Self Podcast: Episode 271: Why This Is The Most Important Time To Find Your Light by Sahara Rose.

Her words spoke to me as a Reiki Master.  This crushing fear many of us may be feeling weakens our immune system.  Sahara claims that the FEAR is more dangerous than the actual virus.  I tend to agree.  Maybe the pandemic is offering us an opportunity. How many times have you ever wished you could just stay home?  We can’t change what is happening.  We can only change how we view it.

I am not saying that our current state of affairs is not frightening.  I am not denying that many people’s livelihoods are threatened.  And worse, many people may die from this pandemic.  But being frozen in Fear doesn’t help you.

Cleaning out my home today helped me to clean away some of the fear.  It is a ritual I am used to, one that comforts me and brings some sense of normalcy.  So give cleaning a try.  Begin with something small, such as emptying waste baskets.  Or grab your Windex and clean the windows.  Plug in your earbuds and dance as you vacuum.  You don’t have to do it all, just clean a little bit.  Then you have something positive to do tomorrow.

Namaste