Today was the first day I resigned myself to the possibility that we may not be going back to school this year. But what shook me was the when our governor suggested that NJ may not be loosening social distancing restrictions until June…or July. It was then that I had to consider something more than just the end of the school year. I have to consider the possibility we will be locked down through the summer.
We’ve prepaid for a summer pool, a few weeks of camp for our son, and our annual trip to Cape Cod. The pool has already returned our money.
I can’t begin to wrap my head around the possibility.
It’s not that I haven’t experienced tough times before. In 1996, I lost both my parents within a six month period. The aftermath was horrendous. So I’ve been trying to remember how I dealt with that time period. I worked a lot. I watched THE THING and ALIENS over and over with Diet Coke and popcorn. I don’t think that I worried about future vacations, or summer fun (I wasn’t teaching at that time). What I know is that I did get through that time period, which means I can get through this one.
It’s just a mind game.
We’ve gotta allow ourselves to be distracted. I gotta find a book I really like, the kind I can slip into for hours and forget myself. I will probably look for something I read when I was younger. It might be time to start binge watching series. Maybe I should try knitting or macrame. It’s time to get serious about practicing some yoga.
It’s time to let myself be me for a while, or at least, figure out me, for the almost fifty me is a bit different from the younger me. I’ve spent so much time working, and juggling multiple responsibilities that I haven’t spent much time just being me.
Maybe that’s the blessing of Covid 19: time. Time to rediscover yourself.
Namaste
Meandering Through Midlife 
You must be logged in to post a comment.