Day 34: Death Knocked on the Door, a Bit Harder.

Sundays have become Family Check in Day.  My phone rang about 2:00 p.m. today.  It was my aunt.  The news wasn’t good.

I lost a cousin who lived in Colorado this week.  It wasn’t Covid 19, but something else.  He was 54 years old.  I haven’t seen him since I was a little girl.  It shook me…he is only four years older.

My uncle had been hospitalized for four days due to a cardiac event. The thought of him having to go to the hospital shook me.  I avoid going to a doctor for much these days.

My husband’s phone rang.

His mom had fallen at home and had been rushed to the hospital for the second time this week.  Again, I worry about anyone having to go to a hospital these days.  Second story, DH’s brother had to be tested for Covid because someone at his job had it.  So far, he doesn’t have it, but he has been required to self-quarantine.

I almost turned my phone off this afternoon.  But I am a bit addicted to it, checking the texts, which often are Covid updates.  I regret signing up for those notifications.  These texts usually push me towards social media to check on my “friends”.  Softened up from reading their posts, I will then check the news.

I don’t watch it very often any more.

The calls upset me.  I decided to leave the house and go for a walk.  It is so peculiar that outside the sky is bright blue, and a soft, cool wind plays with my hair as the sun warms my face.  There are lots of other people walking up and down the neighborhood street, some with dogs, others with kids. People are working in their yards, cleaning up flower beds, and spreading mulch.

As I walked up and down the steep hills in my neighborhood, some people smiled.  I would smile back.  The smiles hid what we really felt.  But the smiles joined us together with a string of hope.

Tomorrow I will try to smile more.

There is something ironic about the beautiful spring weather outside and the Covid mood that permeates our lives.

Namaste