Day 12: Rituals

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Today I have been thinking of the rituals that we humans turn to in times of trouble. Some of them are fun and familiar, the others mark endings or beginnings.  But in the time of Covid 19, it can be difficult to continue utilizing some rituals.  How do you have a funeral?  When will you be able to go to a house of worship to pray?  What about Sunday family dinners?  Could it be possible that there won’t be Easter Egg hunts this year?

My aunt reached out today to see how we have been holding up and somehow the discussion turned to my Nana, who is nearing 101.  Nana has rethought her future burial.  It seems that she has changed her mind about where to rest. As my aunt relayed the options and Nana’s choices, all the while trying not to sob, I recalled the time I lived with Nana in my early 20s.

She had rituals galore! You knew you would have hamburgers on Saturday, cereal for lunch, and eggs and bacon before church.  Daily, she would have a cocktail somewhere around 5 p.m.  And dinner was always finished with a bit of ice cream and a cookie.  One of my favorite sayings of hers is “Lookie, lookie, who’s got the cookies?”

She would walk two miles twice a day: once in the morning, and then again after dinner.   The New York Times would always be found on her sun porch, where she would sit for hours in the afternoon.  She would always shop at A&P, claiming that the local Kings was too expensive.  In the Spring she would garden; her strawberries flourished in the back of her yard, while flowers punctuated the side with multiple colors and sizes.

My grandfather, Nana’s husband, jumped out of airplanes as a part of the 82nd Airborne in WWII.  Ritual and routine were a necessity as the family moved to Japan, then back to the States.  From Arizona to New Jersey, and I am sure there are a few more places.   Nana has seen a lot.  Her mother, my great grandmother, was supposed to be on the Titanic’s maiden voyage.  For some reason, maybe a bit of intuition, she didn’t go.  Papa was stationed in Pearl Harbor when it was bombed by the Japanese on December 7th.  It seems that my family has always dwelled in chaos.

Papa passed away in the 80s.  Nana is isolated in her nursing home.  No one can see her now.  I don’t even know if she gets to see the cards I send. But I remember her stories.

Having little rituals during this pandemic is a necessity.  Even if you are home, get up at the same time of day.  Take time to eat lunch with your family.  Maybe have a half glass of wine at 5:00. And cookies after dinner might be fine too.  Whatever those little things you did before the advent of Covid 19 are important.  Make the beds. Brush your teeth. Do your laundry the same time of the week.

I believe human beings can find comfort in this little rituals.  And the rituals can delineate parts of our day, adding support in a chaotic time.

I’d love to hear which rituals you are still practicing.  Leave me a note in the comments.

Namaste