I’ve searched for weeks for disinfectant wipes. Weeks. But today, knowing that NJ was about to tighten restrictions, I ventured forth early in the morning to Target to return a few items. The woman behind me mentioned there were wipes, and I couldn’t get the salesperson to process my return fast enough so I could dash to the back aisles to grab some. Target limits purchases to one per customer, but I’m fine with that.
Odd how something so mundane can make one feel just the slightest bit of relief. I actually smiled as I left the store, clutching my precious purchase to my chest.
Truthfully, shopping these days is a bit frightening. Most people keep their heads down and do not acknowledge anyone. Some have masks, but more wear gloves. All of us dash for hand sanitizer. Just before I left Target’s parking lot, an older gentleman exploded at his wife as she stepped out of their car. “Get back in!” He screamed.
He startled me. I kept my head down and hurried to my own car, locking the doors as soon as I was inside.
Fear is palpable even in your own home these days. Depending upon which news show you watch, reported or commentary, you may feel that we are indeed in the End of Days. The problem is when you hear part of one press conference and your thoughts dash off to do I need to file for unemployment? Should we try to get a home equity lone? How much money do we really have?
I wish that more of our leaders were reassuring.
And the scientists had answers.
The uncertainty of things creates more anxiety for me than the fear of getting sick. Although seeing the coverage of Italian patients with their heads in types of fishbowls is quite unsettling. Being an asthmatic, I am well acquainted with the experience of having difficulty breathing.
So here I am, six days into our Corona Virus reality.
I am hoping that tomorrow is better.
Namaste
Meandering Through Midlife 
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