Change

It’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged.

Sorry about that.

Last September I started a new job.  When I first heard I had it, I was so excited. I had waited ten years for this opportunity, and the last few, when I was burned out, were the ones when I thought I needed a complete job change, not just a new job.

Now it did change my hours, and my family’s morning routine.  But I had to give up some stability, and the confidence that comes with having mastered old material. Yet, I report to someone new and hang out with different colleagues.

I had so many expectations.

One of which was that my entire life would change for the better.  And while many things have changed for the better, some fundamental, personal challenges have not.

And that was my mistake.

Sometimes people believe that a change will change who they really are.  Like a new home, a new job, a new spouse, that new phone.  It’s as if our minds are tricking us that if only this changed, everything would be better.  But these changes are only superficial.

Sure, my new job has renewed my faith in the profession.  I have new energy at work.  I no longer dread going.

But my own expectations of the job, and of myself, have pushed me into a frenzy of working longer hours at home, learning new skills, and having that “this is my first impression” complex.  I don’t have the same confidence in my own success as I did.

And all this had prompted me to pay for this change with time. The new job has taken up so much of it that I have not addressed those fundamental personal issues that my mind tricked me into thinking the new job would magically solve.

I lost my balance.

And those other issues I want to address? They may have slid into the background, but they put on even more terrifying masks and pop up when I least expect them.

It’s going to take real effort to solve them, not just a superficial change.

Think about life changes you have experienced.  Were they all you expected? Leave me some comments below. Love to hear from you.

And bear with me reader.  I promise to start writing again.

JMonell